The liver transplant!!!!

I had just turned 40 and was on top of the world. I didn’t think I will live to see 40 so for me it was a landmark. My daughter and I had settled in Southend. She was thriving in school and I loved my job and the flexibility it afforded me. I had gotten over my heartbreak and was living life to the full. Life was good. So when in February 2015 after a usual health screen I was told I had liver disease it was a terrible blow. My whole world crumbled right before my eyes. All my little achievements and milestones meant nothing. Vanity.
The first signs that something was wrong was tiredness. My normal yellow eyes was almost green but I thought little of it. Those of you who know me well know that I am always on the go. I can never stand still, my moto was ‘we rest when we die’. The lethargy was on another level. Any little exertion and I needed to lie down. Still forging on and thinking nothing of it, I continued as usual.

I had gone for a health screening, which is the norm in the U.K. when you turn 40. A phone call from my General Practitioner alerting me of an exceptionally high bilirubin level was the start of a series of events leading to my transplant. An immediate referral was made to oncology. Further tests were run in hospital and was told that sickle cell has affected my liver. I have necrosis of the liver. My liver is dead and I need a new one.
I couldn’t comprehend it but it made perfect sense the signs I had ignored – my now green eyes, lethargy, breathlessness, pale and diarrhoea and loss of appetite. With each visit to the hospital my condition worsened. I was immediately on regular exchange transfusion to prolong my liver functions and clean my system. A biopsy revealed a secrosed liver. My liver could not be salvaged. I needed a new one.

I was no longer able to care for my daughter nor myself. My mom had to step in. I now had to have weekly blood exchanges. A pick line was fitted. By the second week I was drifting in and out of consciousness and was rushed to Addenbrokes a specialist hospital almost 60 miles from where I lived. I remember every minute of that ambulance ride, sirens blaring, lights flashing. I was staring death right in the face and I dare not close my eyes lest I lose. I was scared, angry, and sad all at the same time. My soul was troubled will I make heaven, who would care for my daughter, will she even remember me, will she be properly cared for, why did God bring me so far just to let me go. These were some of the questions running through my head. I couldn’t pray, couldn’t cry, couldn’t eat nor could I sleep. I started preparing for the worst, gave instructions about my funeral, who I wanted my daughter to live with, where things were in the house, etc.

It was hard for my family as well, my sister was heavily pregnant and couldn’t be with me. My brother unable to drop everything and come. My dad was also busy with work. Good ol’ mom came to the rescue but was ladened with my daughters care that she was not really there for me. It was term time and I had to normalise things for her so she could continue to go to school. Addenbrokes was 90 miles away, so I only saw them on alternate weekends.
It was the first time in my life that I felt truly alone. I remember thinking to myself how fickle life is. The house, the car, the gadgets, the shoes and clothes all the things we measure success by……..if only. I had made plans to attend a friends 40th in Canada in April and remembered the lovely Ted Baker dresses bought just for the occasion hanging in my wardrobe new and unworn……. if only.

The wait for a liver was exhausting, I was told that it will take longer for me because of my blood group B+. The false hopes, one minute I will be told one has arrived that can be a match prepped for surgery only to be told it was no good. It was the longest 3 months of my life. During this time, I had mended fences with God, I had accepted my fate and was ready for whatever. I was even grateful for every extra day given to prepare for whatever. I mended fences with friends, contacted long lost ones, had a conversation with my ex on my wishes for my daughter. I was ready at peace with myself. I wondered if I will experience the light and seeing past loved ones. If I will still be able to watch over or see my daughter. In all of this I wished that it will be swift.

I was roused very early on the morning of the 5th of May to the news that today might be the day. A suitable liver has been found and is being prepped for me. Of course nothing is certain but I prayed that it will be a match. I was prepped for surgery. then the wait.
I was finally wheeled into theatre at 1pm where I lost all sense of time. The rest was a blur, I remember waking in severe pain to the news that my sister had had a baby girl. I also remember seeing my brother and asking the nurse if it was really him and then slipping back into unconsciousness. I kept slipping in and out of consciousness. I had to be rushed back into theatre as I was bleeding internally. I came back fully and yes it was my brother. He had flew in from Nigeria just to be at my side for the surgery as promised. My sister had truly put to bed and I have another niece; But the pain ……..I really cant explain it. I am used to pain and have had several surgeries in the past but none prepared me for this. Little did I know that the transplant surgery was just the beginning.

My body accepting the organ and recuperating was another fight. Gosh it was hard. For the first week I was tube fed and only allowed sips of water. Little thing that we take for granted like waking, sleeping, eating, going to the toilet became chores. My body was bartered. It felt like I had been in a very serious car crash. I had tubes coming out from everywhere my neck, my wound, my nose, my sides. I was unable to do the simplest of things like holding a cup to my mouth.

The now

I think back to what could have been but quickly got rid of that thought. I had fought with death and I won. Not on my own but with God right by my side.

Reference: Odesanmi T. 2020 “The liver transplant!!!!”- FB Sickle Cell and I (Personal Blog)