Since my relationship series for last week somewhat focused on the ladies, I decided to concentrate on the men this week.

Today’s dimension, could be seen as a continuation of my previous post on the “the God-factor”. If you recall, in that post I noted that sometimes the reason why a guy would decide to take the backseat and be willing to be introduced to his partner, could stem from the fact that he has become discouraged from approaching ladies. So I thought to discuss this in detail today from a different angle.

You see on many occasions, the dating scene can be described as a “chase”, where the guys hunt and the ladies keep pulling the strings and setting the rules of the game.
Several times, when a young lady has suddenly become mature, landing into the dating scene could come with a lot of excitement – “Wow! I really am beautiful and have a way of causing heads to turn”. So she pulls all the strings she can, like flipping through a book in search of the perfect guy. The sad fact however, is that in the process of flipping through and pulling all her strings, she sometimes hurts the ego and emotions of the men she comes across/dated.

One way she does this is by not being clear about her feelings and in so doing drags the guys through vain pursuits, only to make them to feel insignificant by hurting their pride in the end. In turn, it causes them to have a distrust for other ladies and choosing to either retaliate OR to withdraw. It’s funny that I decided to use the word “withdraw” but it’s an actual fact. The guy chooses to withdraw if in the course of dating her, he opened up and revealed certain details about himself that she chose sadly to take for a ride.

Back in the day, I once had a friend who felt so cheated on by his girlfriend, that he just couldn’t understand the gravity of her actions towards him. When he called me aside to unburden, I could sense he was deeply hurt because she hadn’t been clear about her feelings towards him but had led him on while waiting for the right person to come along. Of course you know how the story ends?
Sometime later, I got to understand the reason behind his pain. I stumbled on a book that explained that many times, when a guy trusts a lady, he opens up and shares certain sensitive aspects about himself which he normally wouldn’t speak on. However, when this trust is broken, then the above situation which is “to withdraw” could arise.

We all have emotions, which is something I would like to buttress here but on many occasions, the tendency is for us ladies to view the guys as being all “macho”/strong and being able to withstand whatever we throw at them but this isn’t always the case. Many times guys feel so humiliated by us ladies that they sadly trod on vowing never to be in such a position again.
Also, I believe that no lady should in turn have to suffer unduly, for the wrong that has been metered on her soul mate by another lady from his past because if the man walked away withdrawn, it would one way or another show up in her relationship with him.

Considering if it turns out to be the opposite case where the guy chooses to retaliate, then the dating scene would become a vicious cycle where every male and female need to be on the look out.
Apparently, this is sadly the case today.