I noticed that there were no comments from any of you on my post last week (“A fascinating journey”) only a few likes. So my post today will take a different turn because I had hoped to share a bit more based on the feedback I received.
I know by reading the question once more, you will want to know where I’m headed. The said statement / question was the reason why a past relationship ended. Need I say more or delve deeper into it, I would like to share how I got over the situation.

You see, the other individual was unwilling to come to terms with me being a warrior, so this feedback was received when the relationship had had gone on for sometime. Of course I was heartbroken but the thing that was most painful was the fact that I found it to be a bit derogatory as I found myself owning up for the very first time that I was different from others due to a rather thoughtless remark.

We warriors have lot of issues we generally overcome on a daily basis and the last thing we need is a relationship that could trigger painful memories or cause us to end up once more in the hospital. I’ve heard cases of warriors that literally go into painful crises due to failed relationships and mine not withstanding was not any different. This other individual was clearly aware of the state of my health so the fact that they chose not to admit to themselves that they were unwilling to go on was a bit inconsiderate. In my case it triggered off an amnesia and a chain of crises.

I know most of you will be saying but Onuoma these things happen all the time and yes! I admit that they do and that’s the reason I have chosen to share about it today because there are different and easier ways of ending relationships without marring the other individual who likewise, may get to do so to someone else later on in life. I hope you understand the angle of my post today. In my case, I felt weakened and blamed myself for getting close to the other person. Despite all the encouragement that I received after the incident, it was like falling into a deep pit of sadness until of course the amnesia set in and it took medications to bring me back on track.

So how then did I get over it? It took a lot of forgiveness on my part. I forgave the other individual for hurting me and just like every healing process, I went through stages of healing. From forgiveness, to the resurfacing of the inner anger I felt and finally to healing of the hurt. I know I make it seem like an easy process, but it wasn’t. Hence, my closing point today on the essence of forgiveness, which not only applies in such cases but to all forms of relationships.

Unforgiveness is a seed that creeps in and steals your joy, happiness and overall well being if you fester it. It’s necessary to always let go of any hurt that could take root on the inside without sometimes your knowledge. The bible says in Luke 17v1 “It is impossible but that offenses will come: but woe unto him, through whom they come!” Yes the offense will come but your part is to forgive the one that offended as the offender stands accountable to God.
Jesus also stated in Matthew 18v21 the number of times that we are to go on forgiving when he was asked by his disciples. “Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.

The more you find it in your heart to forgive others and to let go the more capacity you have on the inside to be an instrument of love but unforgiveness stifles whatever capacity you have to love others. I can recall some of the times I’ve chosen to withhold forgiveness from others and how I felt on the inside. It completely rids you of your inner peace and joy. You know when you have truly forgiven when you can look back on the situation and it no longer hurts.

For those of you that may be going through a bad break up in your relationship, it’s imperative not to allow the seeds of bitterness and unforgiveness fester deep within you. Instead, try to let go of the hurt and let the process of forgiveness take its course. You do yourself untold harm by reminiscing and brooding over it but once you let go, your peace floods in and you allow your Maker to act on your behalf.
Remember the bible says in Romans 12 v 19 “…..Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord”.

Even as we enter this Christmas season, we pray for hope in God, joy in our hearts, and love to forgive.

Have a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!!